Crushing on the Cop Read online

  “How is she?” I ask my dad.

  “She just lays there. I couldn’t get her to open her eyes.” Wetness coats his own eyes, but he nods a few times without saying anything else and heads into the waiting room.

  What would my dad do without my mother? I have no fucking clue.

  “Dad’s a mess as you can see.” Luca huddles us together like we’re about to hash out a winning play.

  “You’re not so great yourself.” This is where Jericho is perfect. He says it so I don’t have to.

  Luca’s eyes lock with mine and I have to say, it’s unnerving seeing my usually overconfident brother filled with fear. “She’s been having more symptoms. The arrhythmia was off, but I swear yesterday when I checked her out she was fine. I thought she’s just getting older and doing way too much.”

  “She’s only fifty-one,” I say.

  Luca stares at me like he doesn’t understand my line of thinking.

  “Cris!” Mauro bounds into the emergency room, dragging Maddie behind him because his footsteps are about twice the length of hers. Would’ve been easier for him to carry her.

  Her eyes are swollen like my dad’s and she spares us a quick glance before heading over to the nurse’s station. It’s funny that she thinks she’ll get information we can’t. The three of us are no strangers here. Hell, the head nurse has given Luca her phone number at least ten times hoping she’ll win some Luca lottery at the end of her shift.

  Glenda, the nurse on duty, points to the waiting room and Maddie beelines it in there.

  “What’s the word?” Mauro asks, and he appears about as disheveled as a hungover college student. His hair is a wild mess, the buttons aren’t aligned on his shirt and his pants are hanging off his hips since he isn’t wearing a belt. He’s got slides on instead of actual shoes—in November. In Chicago.

  “No mystery what you and Maddie were doing,” Luca snips. “Ma’s laying passed out on the floor while you’re banging your girlfriend.”

  “Fiancée and I didn’t fucking know,” Mauro says with a glare.

  “Fiancée?” Jericho says like he just said chlamydia.

  Mauro doesn’t even glance at him because I’m sure he’s not in the mood.

  “Congrats man,” I slap him on the back.

  I guess I’m the only other male in our circle who believes Mauro made the right decision on proposing tonight. Not that Luca doesn’t love Maddie, but he’d never consider marriage. I’m sure Ma prays every night for him.

  We file into the waiting room where Maddie’s hand is clasped in my dad’s, her other hand on top squeezing and then circling and squeezing.

  “She’ll be fine,” she whispers.

  I feel like a jackass that only Maddie figured out we needed to be a solid force for my dad instead of congregating in the hallway to form a plan over something that none of us have control over. Our Ma’s health is in the care of the doctors now.

  Mauro sits next to Maddie, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and leaning over to say something to Dad. The three do a little hug and my dad spots the ring on Maddie’s finger. His eyes soften and he nods before kissing her on the cheek. “Your mama will be so happy when she wakes up.”

  Maddie sniffles and Mauro kisses her temple.

  “He’s her favorite for sure now,” Luca mumbles next to me. “I should be stripped of the name Bianco. I’m supposed to take care of her. I should’ve seen the signs. I’m a fucking paramedic,” he continues to beat himself up.

  “Stop it. You’re not a fucking doctor,” I tell him.

  “I should’ve been. Then I would’ve gotten her to the doctor sooner. Hell, I would have been her doctor.”

  I’ve never seen Luca beating himself up like this other than his senior year when his team lost state.

  “Bianco family?” a doctor in a white coat says as he enters the waiting room.

  We all stand and his eyes widen in alarm. Me and Luca are both in our uniforms and Maddie and Mauro look like they just wrestled a grizzly bear.

  I guess Maddie kind of did.

  “Before you see her, I want to go over a few things with you. I believe she has atrial fibrillation. It’s late and we have her on a monitor now, but I’m going to schedule some tests. We won’t have any answers until the morning. She’s fine now. Alert and wanting answers. I don’t have a ton and…” His eyes shift to Luca’s paramedic uniform. “I don’t want anyone panicking and trying to get their PhD on Google. As you probably know” —he directs his talk only to Luca now— “there are a lot of reasons for atrial fibrillation and we’ll have to weed out results before we can get a solid diagnosis.”

  Luca nods, understanding way more than any of us.

  “I’m sure you’re eager to see her, so I’ll have the nurse escort you down. We’ve set up a transfer upstairs for her since she’ll be staying for a couple of days.”

  My dad holds out his hand for a handshake, which Mauro, me, and Luca all get in line right behind him in birth order. Maddie also shakes his hand and it’s the first time I realize, she’s practically a Bianco now, too.

  A small smile comes to my lips. I never wanted a sister growing up, in fact, I felt sorry for our three cousins in New York when their younger sister Blanca was born. I can’t imagine how many guys they had to scare off and keep their eye on over the years. But I think I’m really gonna like having a sister-in-law.

  Jericho wishes us the best and heads out while the rest of us follow the nurse past half-drawn curtains with wallows of pain coming from behind them.

  My Catholic upbringing comes in handy because I say a few short prayers on the way to Ma’s bedside. She’s the heart of this family and nothing survives without the heart.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Cristian

  It’s after midnight and the only light in the room is a dim one right behind my mother’s hospital bed so the nurse can see when she comes in. Maddie’s curled up into Mauro’s chest on the couch by the window, while my dad is in the chair closest to my mother, holding her hand. Luca went downstairs to grab a coffee and probably to bother the nurse for any word on Ma’s test results. He’s been a mess since we got here, practically crying to Mama about how sorry he was.

  I sit in the desk chair, fiddling with my phone to stay awake so I can make sure I’m aware should anything change with Ma’s condition. I kind of feel like Luca—we let Ma down. Here she has three sons who are certified in CPR, trained to handle any emergency and all of us didn’t push harder for her to go to the doctor sooner. The woman who’s kissed every scrape, dried our tears, patted us on the back, and been our biggest cheerleader our whole lives, and we let it get so bad that an ambulance had to be called.

  “Cristian,” my Ma’s sweet, low voice pulls me from my thoughts and my gaze from the Twisty Road game on my phone.

  I spring up to my feet and approach the bed. “Rest Mama,” I say, covering her cold hand with both of mine.

  She wrestles up, the wires making it difficult for her to fully sit up in the bed. Like everything else in her life, she manages and somehow keeps her other hand in my dad’s because she wants him to sleep.

  “You should go home. Sleep. I’m fine.”

  I’m shaking my head before she can finish. “We’re here.”

  Her gaze falls around the room, spotting Maddie and Mauro and a soft smile creases her lips. Even in their damn sleep, they’re smiling. “He loves her so much,” she says.

  Mauro told Mama the news in the emergency room, happiness stretching from ear to ear on his face. Mama took Maddie, looked at the ring and pulled them both in for a hug. I can’t remember the last time I saw her busting with so much excitement. They talked about the wedding, and I know I wasn’t the only one in the room praying that Mama would be there to dance.

  “Yeah he does,” I agree.

  She squeezes my hand. “And what about your girl? Vanessa, right?”

  I shake my head. “I told you. We’re friends.”

  This time it�
��s her shaking her head before I can finish speaking. “I see it in those eyes of yours. You might be able to keep a stiff lip, Cristian, but your eyes are always like glass.”

  “We’re different.”

  Her vision shifts to my father who is now lightly snoring. “Your father and I are opposites. What’s the term? Opposites love.”

  “Opposites attract?” I say with a small chuckle.

  She nods. “If there’s a saying for it, it must be true.”

  Go figure, Ma checkmates me.

  “She doesn’t want a relationship.”

  “And you do.” She doesn’t ask, she doesn’t have to. She knows the answer.

  Out of her three sons, I’m the relationship guy. Damn random genes. For the first time in my life, I wish I could have Luca’s love for a carefree relationship and expect nothing from a woman other than for her to leave the next morning. Mauro wasn’t a manwhore like Luca, but he rolled with whatever, never planning his future like I did. Looking ahead never scared me like it did my brothers.

  “Sometimes people don’t know what they want. How could she not love my boy?” She releases my hand and pats my cheek.

  This is why we love our mama. Who else would say that and be genuinely confused?

  “She lost her mom young. She tries to act like she’s strong and doesn’t need anyone, but I think she’s afraid.”

  Mama’s head tilts and it’s the first time I’ve seen Ma’s hair less than perfectly styled. I swear I would wake up in the morning and she’d have showered and dressed for the day. Christmas morning? Dressed and ready to welcome guests before the presents were opened. There are even pictures of her holding each one of us after delivery with a full face of makeup and perfectly styled hair. Now it’s matted on the one side and her skin still has a slight gray tinge to it and that scares me. It means our family dynamic is shifting and we’ll be taking care of them before long.

  “You need to help her to see. Show her the man you are. She’ll fall in love with you once she sees what’s in here.” Her hand moves to my heart. “Such an easy heart to love.”

  “Oh, Ma, you’re supposed to think that.”

  “I would even if you weren’t mine, but I feel extra proud that I did something right with you.”

  I smile, pride filling my chest.

  Luca’s one-night stands calling into my parents’ deli come to mind and we all know what she thinks of that.

  “I was never worried about you. Luca?” She shakes her head. “Dio mio. I may get a grandchild from that one, but no daughter-in-law. I worry about that boy. He needs to settle down with someone. Then I could stop worrying about him. Mauro found Maddie…If you think she’s yours, Cristian, fight.”

  My hand covers hers on my chest. Nothing like your Ma to give you a pep talk.

  “We’ll see. Let’s get you better first.”

  The smile falls from her lips. “No.” Whoa, she transformed from sweet mama to ‘why did you cut your brother’s hair’ ma. True story. I was six, Luca was five, it didn’t end well. “If this should show you anything it’s that time is precious.”

  Luca strolls in with no cup of coffee, confirming my suspicion that he was looking for information. Probably using that easy smile and flirtatious charm of his.

  “Ma?” he says, his voice full of regret.

  I stand so he can have some time with her.

  He steps forward and takes my vacant seat. “I’m sorry.” Luca’s head falls and Ma’s hand swiftly moves up to his cheek, urging him to look at her.

  See what I mean about the difference between us siblings? As sure of himself as Luca likes to appear, he’ll crumble if something happens to Ma. I’ll be the one who arranges everything needed for Ma. Mauro will lean on Maddie who will support my father. We all have our roles and Luca’s isn’t to be the solid support beam holding us up. That’s on me.

  As I sit back down at the desk, ignoring my Ma’s incessant pleas to Luca to stop being upset, I think about her words. Do I really want to lie down and die where Vanessa’s concerned?

  At some point that night while we wait for word on Mama’s test results, falling in and out of sleep, I decide there’s something between Vanessa and I that I refuse to throw away.

  I’m going to show her what exactly she needs in her life—me.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Vanessa

  The doorbell rings and I get up from my computer, grabbing my munchkins.

  When I swing the door open, to my surprise Cristian stands there.

  “Come to turn me down again?” I ask.

  He grabs the bag of donuts and walks down the hall.

  “Well, this is great. First, you deny me sex and now you’re taking my donuts. You’re kind of a buzzkill, Officer Bianco.” I follow him because that box is half full and what woman wouldn’t chase down a man for a donut.

  “At least you’re training for the race in your own special way.” He tosses the box in the trashcan.

  “Okay, I was willing to be nice, but you don’t throw out munchkins and you certainly don’t throw out pumpkin spice munchkins.” I step toward the trashcan, but he moves in front of me, not allowing me to pass. “I’m enjoying this game of chicken, but you’re ruining my afternoon.”

  “Go get changed.”

  He crosses his arms over his impressive chest. He’s wearing a sweatshirt so I don’t really see the chest, but I’ve felt it and seen it and I know it’s drool-worthy. I have a good memory for things like that. When he leans against the counter and crosses his ankles, my eyes betray me and fall down his body taking in his compression pants with shorts over the top and his running shoes that are worn enough to say he’s a serious runner.

  It’s impossible to deny how hot he is. That and the fact that I’ve been replaying our night while laying in bed by myself says he’s under my skin.

  “I’m working.” I sit down at my computer, but he takes the seat opposite me.

  “What are you working on?” he asks, seeming intrigued.

  “A clothing line.”

  Jeez, I want to slap myself to shut up. Why am I so willing to tell him everything?

  “Cool. Can you finish once we get back?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He leans back in the chair, relaxed like he’s not going anywhere. Why is he acting as if yesterday didn’t happen? Like the sun rose and a new Cristian was born.

  “I know you want to please your dad,” he says in a smug way that grates on me.

  “So you’ve pegged me for having daddy issues. Congratulations.” I pretend to work when I’m really staring at a BuzzFeed quiz on which Golden Girl I’m like between the sheets. I could save myself the time—totally Blanche.

  I glance up and he links his fingers on the table in front of him. Now I’m not usually a woman who looks at hands unless I’m looking for a wedding band, but Cristian’s fingers are long and thin. His nails are clipped and filed like he gets manicures on the regular. If I found hands sexy—which I don’t—I might have to admit that his are.

  “What cop’s daughter doesn’t have them?”

  “I’ll give you that one.”

  I glance up from my computer screen to find him smiling. All straight, white teeth on display. I wonder when they were all in high school how the girls picked which Bianco brother was the hottest? My vote would be Cristian if I’d gone there. Which I didn’t, so why am I even pondering this?

  “Why don’t you tell me about it on our run?” His hand pushes the top of my laptop shut. “Forget this. I can tell you anyway. You’re Rose in bed.”

  “I am not.” I don’t even address how he saw my screen, but then I realize he had to pass my computer after he threw out my munchkins. Sneaky bastard.

  “Go get dressed and then I’ll explain my reasoning to you.”

  “Are you going to leave if I say no?”

  He shakes his head.

  “Fine. But you better have a good reason because Rose seems boring in bed and i
f you tell me I’m boring, I might make it so that you’ll never walk properly again.”

  He chuckles, not appearing the least bit fazed by my threat.

  “And just so you know, I expect a replacement of munchkins if I do this.”

  I head upstairs not waiting for his answer because I can guess what it will be. And if he thinks some green concoction with a raw egg in it compares to a pumpkin spiced sugar bite of perfection he can think again.

  Cristian is waiting by the front door stretching when I walk down the steps. I’m not exactly a workout girl so yoga pants, a t-shirt that says ‘I Like Big Busts’ with a picture of handcuffs, and shoes are the best I can come up with. Had I known of this impromptu run I may have splurged and bought a new outfit.

  I beeline past him, grabbing my keys and walking out the door.

  “You’ll feel wonderful once you’re done,” he says, following behind.

  “Yeah, you have your brother on speed dial I presume?” I pretend to stretch along the rod iron guardrail of our cement stairs.

  “Mauro?” he asks.

  “Luca. He might need to give me oxygen.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m certified to give you mouth-to-mouth, too.” His hands press on my back, moving me forward. “Get a deep stretch. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”

  How does he always smell so good? It’s not fair. Especially since I don’t see his car anywhere.

  “Did you run here?”

  “I took an Uber. I figure we’d see how far you could go and I’ll run home after.”

  I switch my legs and thankfully he’s decided to stretch on his own now, keeping his hands off me.

  “You said you’d tell me why I’m Rose in bed if I did this.” I wince when I stretch my leg a little too far.

  “You’re right. A deal’s a deal. You’re Rose because at first glance you come across more as a Blanche, a little wild and crazy, throw caution to the wind. But it’s only after someone has had you that they realize you’re not entirely what they expected. You’re surprising. There’s more heart there than you’d like to admit. It means something.”