The Banker (Modern Love Book 3) Page 15

  Since this is my first time in Jasper’s condo, he pulls everything out for me and a half hour later, the pizza roll-ups are on a plate with Brady looking at it like I’m asking him to eat a pig’s foot. Or broccoli.

  “What’s the matter, Brady?” I ask.

  “Brady, eat,” Jasper says.

  I bend down to look into Brady’s eyes.

  “What is it?” His voice is low and unsure.

  I take my knife and cut it open, showing him that there’s cheese, sauce and pepperoni like he asked. His eyes light up with recognition.

  “It tastes just like pizza,” I say, cutting a small piece and placing it on a fork to hold it out in front of him.

  His lips touch it and he pushes back. “It’s hot,” he whines.

  “Brady,” Jasper warns and I have to say his fatherly tone does a little something for me between the legs.

  I bring the food to my mouth and blow on it. Brady smiles and then I hold it out again. “Try again,” I urge and he nibbles a bit first, until he slides the rest off his fork. While he chews, I continue to cut up his pizza roll up.

  “It’s good,” he says like he can’t believe it.

  I smile. “I’m glad you like it.”

  Sitting back up in my seat, I begin to cut my pizza roll-up, but I sense something and glance up to find Jasper’s eyes on me. He smiles and I smile back, wondering why he’s staring at me.

  “Grandpa said you guys are bumping uglies,” Brady says.

  Both Jasper’s and my eyes widen and our heads whip in Brady’s direction. I try to hide the smile and swallow the laugh threatening to escape.

  “I asked Grandma what it meant, but she told me Grandpa’s losing it and not to pay any attention to him.” Brady gobbles down a few more bites of his pizza roll up, blissfully unaware.

  I swallow some of my water to keep from laughing, and eventually Jasper’s face returns to normal coloring.

  “I think I need to talk with my father,” he mumbles, eating his pizza roll up.

  Four hours later, a kid’s Monopoly game is strewn on the coffee table, and the three of us are lined up on the couch watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I’m cozied up to Jasper and Brady is cozied up to me.

  A head falls into my lap and Brady’s moppy hair is strewn on my blanket, his eyes shut.

  “Thank God,” Jasper moans. “I love him, but damn, he has energy for days.” He slides away from me, stands and picks Brady up in his arms like he weighs nothing. Brady’s little body lies limp, one of his socks hanging from his toes.

  “I’ll be right back,” Jasper says and heads down the hallway.

  I’ve been on Brady lockdown since I arrived. The only time I’ve had a moment to myself was when I went to the bathroom. Even then when I opened the door he was there waiting for me. Clingy is an understatement. But rather than annoying, the reason behind his behavior makes my heart go out to him.

  Watching Jasper as a dad has only made me fall harder for him—not something I could have anticipated. But he’s so loving and patient with his little boy. And at the same time, he’s stern and forthright when he needs to be. I had no idea single dads could be so hot but damn, they’ve got game.

  I stand, stretching, and then lower the volume on the television. Moving to the open blinds, I look down at the streets of San Francisco and again the question plagues me. How did I get here? Worse is, do I belong?

  Two arms wrap around me from behind, and Jasper rests his chin on my shoulder. I’ve missed him. I know that’s such a girly and ridiculous statement. I’ve been with him all night, but not truly.

  I close my eyes, inhaling his scent of musk and man.

  “I thought I was never going to get you alone,” he whispers, dipping his lips to my neck.

  I turn in his arms, circling them around his neck. “He’s great,” I say.

  A proud smile forms on his lips. “I know.” Then he kisses the tip of my nose. “I’m glad you think so, too.”

  He pulls me closer and my head falls to his chest. My hands skim up under his t-shirt and he inhales a deep breath.

  Holding my head between his hands, he bends down and his lips meet mine. It’s his sweet kiss and I love it, but I miss the animalistic ones. The ones that made my lips feel bruised and sore. I really miss the one where he’s right on the edge the entire time until his cock sinks into me and a groan of pleasure releases from his throat. We had three weeks of that and this week, besides a quickie in the back of the tattoo parlor when he came to visit, there’s been nothing.

  He slows the kiss, obviously not going any further. Surely parents fuck? I mean, it’s not something I’ve ever really thought of because the only parents in my life are my own and who wants to think about that? But I’m taking Jasper’s lead on the physical part of our relationship and the fact that he ends our kiss says he’s not ready for any sleepovers just yet.

  “I guess I should go,” I mumble and he stares down to my eyes, nodding.

  “How about I get a sitter for this weekend?” he asks as I walk toward the coat rack with my purse hanging from it. Swinging it crosswise over my body, I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

  “Sure.”

  He takes me in his arms again, more forceful than before, and I clench my thighs to keep the pulsing to a minimum.

  “Thank you for dinner,” he softly says in my ear.

  “You’re welcome,” I whisper.

  With one last goodnight kiss, I’m walking down the hallway of Jasper’s condo building feeling very alone and very horny. I suppose I should be thankful I create sex toys at a time like this.

  By the time I step off the curb on the way to my van, the reason for my melancholy is clear to me. I miss him.

  “Fuck!” I blurt out, a little too loud. A few couples and families walking along the sidewalk look at me and I lower my head. “The bastard owns me,” I mumble.

  22

  “Okay, so you’re sure. A kid?” Whitney asks, sipping her coffee.

  “As in a little person?” Tahlia clarifies and I nod again.

  “As in a six-year-old little boy. Yes,” I say.

  I sip my coffee and the two of them exchange looks. I know the look. It’s the one that’s silently agreeing with my subconscious that I’m in over my head. But it’s been two weeks and Brady and I are getting along like best friends. It’s Jasper and me who have somehow moved backwards into a platonic relationship. Other than quickies in his office or my place at lunch, we’re in junior high hand-holding mode. I’d probably get more action if I challenged him to a game of spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven.

  “I don’t know what to say.” You know it’s bad when quick-thinker Whitney, the reporter, is speechless.

  “Is he nice? Or does Jasper have one of those nightmare hyperactive ones?” Tahlia’s expression morphs into a disgusted look. Which is out of sorts because I’m fairly sure she’d be the best mother out of all of us. Nothing against Whitney. Or me.

  “He’s great. Clingy.” I tilt my head. “But great. He really likes me. Sometimes I worry he’s too attached.”

  Both their eyes bug out.

  “You guys do realize that I’m a likable person?” I ask and they share that same damn look. I’m ready to throw my coffee in their faces.

  Tahlia reaches over, patting my hand. “Of course,” she singsongs, clearly lying.

  Whatever. I know I’m likable.

  “You guys probably behave similar,” Whitney adds as though she didn’t just insult me.

  “Um, guys. Jasper isn’t looking for Brady to have a friend to have play dates with. He’s looking for a mother,” I say. Although Jasper said the exact opposite, which makes me wonder what we’re doing then. Every time we’re together I can’t help but feel like I have to prove myself to him.

  “Did he say that?” Tahlia’s mouth hangs open.

  “No. He said he wasn’t, but I’m so fucking confused. I mean how should things be? He has a kid and he’s
in a relationship with me. There have to be expectations. I mean we’re not just dating into infinity now. There are expectations with monogamy. Hidden promises of happily ever after.”

  “Well, you’re young still,” Tahlia offers, trying to give me an out, I think.

  “You don’t get it.” I shake my head, frustrated that no one gets where I’m coming from.

  They both look at one another and shrug, not understanding me.

  “I’ve never thought about my wedding. I never believed I would get married. Kids? Only if I was the last woman on the planet and Chris Hemsworth and I needed to repopulate the earth,” I ramble, my blood pressure increasing the more I think about all the things I’ve never thought of before. “I mean, I’m starting a sex toy company. How is that going to work for career day? Can you see me strutting in with a tank top, my tats on full display, pulling out a dildo?”

  I thump my forehead on the table and Tahlia smooths my hair. See, what’d I tell you? She’s motherly.

  “You could do the sex ed class,” Whitney says, laughing, and Tahlia joins in.

  I lift my head to narrow my eyes before I stare down at the table again.

  “You’re thinking too far in the future, Len. Calm down,” Whitney offers. This is the same advice I repeat on an hourly basis to myself.

  “If all these thoughts are surfacing. Do you think…I mean—” Tahlia hesitates. “Maybe you love him?”

  I lift my head slowly, and stare her dead straight in the eyes. “No. I’m just saying when a kid is involved, there’s more expectations.”

  “Not really,” Whitney says in a soft tone.

  I look over at her and she draws back. “I mean, a future is a future, Lennon, and if you don’t think you’ll be able to commit down the road, you shouldn’t be in a relationship, let alone one with a man who has a child.”

  I lean back in my chair, focusing on the outside world past the window. I can’t be upset because what Whitney is saying makes sense. Jasper and I were fooling each other that day at the cabin. There’s no ‘let’s give it a try.’ There’s only ‘all in and pray you make the right decision.’ I’ve been teetering on that line the past couple weeks and it’s time I fully step over it and embrace all that decision has to offer, if that’s where I want to be.

  A slow smile tilts the corners of both their lips because they know. They knew before me.

  “I don’t love him,” I bite out and they share a smile, shaking their heads.

  “Only you would know,” Tahlia says, raising her shoulders up and down in a condescending way.

  “And I don’t.”

  Whitney tips her cup to her lips. “Definitely not,” she mumbles.

  I stand up from my seat, eyeing the scribble on my coffee mug. “Annie Reed? Really?” Tahlia and her damn romance movies.

  They both laugh and I roll my eyes.

  “You know it’s funny.” Whitney practically spits out her coffee from her laughter.

  “I’m not Annie, Jasper isn’t Sam and Brady isn’t Jonah. This isn’t Sleepless in Seattle, it’s my life.” My frustration reaches a boiling point and it’s clear in the tone of my voice.

  Their laughter screeches to a halt like a car reaching the edge of a cliff.

  “Lennon.” Whitney sits up straighter, her eyes laced with sympathy.

  “We didn’t mean—” Tahlia begins but I hold up my hand.

  How can I really fault them when I’d be doing the exact same thing if it was one of them? “It’s fine. I gotta go, though.” The two of them stand but I shoo them back down into their seats. “Really, I’m fine. I just need to figure this out.” I toss my coffee cup in the trash, and I’m walking away when Whitney’s voice pulls me back.

  “It’s okay, Lennon. You know that, right?”

  I turn around, not understanding what she’s saying.

  She’s nibbling on the inside of her cheek. “I mean… you can want more. It’s okay to want more.”

  I nod, and swing open the door, making my exit into the warm summer night.

  I know it’s okay to want more in theory, but am I the girl who can handle more?

  23

  I step out of the elevator of Jasper’s office, my heart in my throat, my stomach a churning mess. “Hi, Brittany, I’m here to see Drew.”

  She nods. “Mr. Banks, Lennon Hart is here.” She’s nice and polite, but she’s an idiot because she called the wrong person.

  “I’m here to see Drew Ashland,” I clarify and she smiles.

  “Mr. Banks informed me any time you come to the office, he’s to be rung.”

  I stare blankly at her, my mind whirling. I have no chance to say anything else because Jasper rounds the corner, a giant smile on his face, his arms already outstretched for me.

  “You want lunch?” he asks, and kisses my cheek.

  “I have a meeting with Drew.” My voice is void of the usual giddiness it bears when I’m in Jasper’s arms.

  “Oh.” He draws back. “I didn’t know.” His lips turn down.

  He doesn’t know because we’re apart more than together these days and that’s not me blaming him or Brady. I’m starting to realize that maybe Jasper hasn’t completely let me in. That maybe there’s still doubt in him about us.

  “It was last-minute. I guess he has some things to discuss regarding branding.”

  Just then Drew gets off the elevator. “Shit, Lennon. Give me a second and I’ll be ready.” He’s in a brown suit today and he has a hat on. You’d think he just walked out of the forties and a swing song starts playing in my head.

  “Nice hat,” Jasper says, and it’s clear from his tone it’s not a compliment.

  Drew tips it down, slightly bowing. “Thank you, sir.” Then he snaps his heels together and holds out his arm for me. “Now, I’m going to steal your lady.”

  I giggle and take the offered arm.

  “She’s my lunch,” Jasper calls out after us.

  “That’s not appropriate talk for the office,” Drew says back, leading us forward.

  I look over my shoulder and Jasper winks, the naughty minded grin back on his face. My stomach and my heart both flutter.

  Sue stands with a stack of papers when Drew approaches.

  “Good afternoon, Sue,” he says and I’m wondering if he’s just coming in today.

  “Mr. Ashland. Miss Hart.” She looks skeptically at me, but she follows us into the office.

  “Do you want anything to drink?” Drew asks me, motioning for me to sit down.

  “No, thank you,” I say. She nods and focuses her attention on Drew.

  “Nothing for me either. Thank you, Sue. Shut the door when you leave.”

  She leaves and the door clicks shut.

  We discuss the branding for a half hour and surprisingly he’s on board with my ideas. Drew’s been a pleasure to work with. He made sure the due diligence portion was seen to right away and he’s already got his patent lawyer drawing up the paperwork to file. I’m lucky to have him on my side.

  I’m collecting my things when he leans back in his chair, smirking, and I can’t resist.

  “What?” I ask.

  Drew and I have come to a casual friendship as of late, since he likes to joke as much as I do.

  “So, what do you think of Brady?” he asks and I stare blankly at him because this isn’t the first time I’ve seen him since I found out about Brady. “Jasper told me you guys are hitting it off.”

  “He’s a great kid,” I say.

  “He is. He’s also a kid looking for a mom.” He raises his eyebrows in question.

  “Jasper isn’t,” I say, still not sure if I believe it.

  “I’m not so sure about that.” He straightens, clasping his hands in front of him on the table, and stares at me for an uncomfortable minute. “He likes you.”

  “And I like him, so why are we having this conversation?” I ask.

  “She tore him apart,” he says softly as though Jasper’s perched outside with a glass to the d
oor. “I’ve known Jasper since freshman year at Harvard.”

  “And?”

  “And I’ve seen him with a lot of women. They’ve come and gone, and he wouldn’t return calls, or he’d dodge them at parties after they hooked up. Only two women have had a lasting affect on him. You and her.” I can’t help but hear the disdain in his voice when he refers to her.

  “I don’t think my relationship with Jasper is any of your business,” I say and cross my arms in front of my chest.

  “She didn’t tear him up because he loved her. She tore him up because she didn’t want anything to do with his son.” Again, his eyebrows rise and my gut clenches into a knot.

  “Well, Brady was hers. Of course it tore him up.”

  Drew leans back in his chair. “Is that how you think of it? Brady is Jasper’s but not yours? But who gets hurt if the two of you don’t work out?”

  “Brady,” I whisper. I know this, Jasper knows this, but for some reason we’re risking a child’s feelings.

  “I don’t say this for you to break it off, because you’ve met him and the kid wants a mom more than he wants to meet Iron Man. He’s at the age where all the kids are talking about their families and he’s realizing he doesn’t have what most do.”

  “Shouldn’t you be talking to Jasper about this?” I stiffen my back, narrowing my eyes on him. “It’s not all on me.”

  He nods. “I think we both know it is.” He knocks his knuckles on the desk in front of him and stands.

  “Drew, with all due respect because I appreciate what you’re doing for my business, but on a personal level, fuck you.” I stand, too. “Do you think I don’t think about that kid all the time? The carefree Lennon has disappeared because I’m so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and I’m freaked out that if Jasper and I don’t work out, I’m screwing up an innocent kid.”

  “First lower your voice unless you want Jasper to run in here.” He walks around his desk to meet me. “I don’t mean to rile you up. I just wanted to make sure you know the stakes. They’re my family and when emotions get in the way, sometimes it’s the people on the outside who can see the train wreck about to happen.”