My Almost Ex Page 18

  “I love the apricot taste.” After she sips it, I lean over to kiss her.

  “So, I was thinking…” I begin the conversation I’ve started in my head a million times over. “We should probably talk about the future. Not that I want to pressure you.”

  She turns in her chair. Thankfully, we’re at a corner table away from the other customers, who are mostly tourists anyway. “What about the future?”

  “Well, we’re living together. You still have my name. Next week is technically two months since we made our agreement.” Man, that day at the inn when she refused to sign the divorce papers seems so long ago. We’ve come so far from that moment. “I think we need to move on as though your memory isn’t going to return.”

  She twists the glass in the holder. “And if it does?”

  “Then we deal with it. We’re different, right? We’ll talk it out and go from there. But I want us to start building our life together again.”

  “Like kids?” Her eyes are wide with surprise, but there’s a small smile on her face.

  I laugh, although I’m not opposed. God knows I’m envious of Toby and his son every time I see them. “Not yet. I mean, I figure you should go back to teaching if that’s what you want. Planning vacations together, hosting friends at our place, just the everyday things couples do.”

  She thinks it over, and I steel myself in case she says she’s not ready for that step.

  “I am getting bored at home. The more I try to remember, the more frustrated I’m becoming. Dr. Lipstein said something about that last week. I mean, he’s told me that I may never remember, but last week he said I’ll eventually need to put it aside and move forward with my life. If it happens, it happens.”

  “So?”

  She twirls the glass between her fingers and watches the fluid swoosh around.

  “What are you holding back?” I ask.

  Her teeth nibble on her bottom lip and she looks at me. “Does this entail you moving into the master bedroom again?”

  I blow out a breath and run my hand through my hair. If I’m going to ask her to move forward, then I need to take a step forward as well, no matter how painful that room is to me. “Yeah.”

  “Not just to sleep. Clothes in the closet, toiletries in the bathroom.”

  I nod. “Yes. I’m in.”

  She smiles. “Okay. So we’re just going to put my memory issues aside and really start new?”

  I put my hand on the nape of her neck, massaging the back of her scalp. “Yeah, we are.”

  I pull her toward me and kiss the holy hell out of her for the entire restaurant to witness. I’m finally back where I belong.

  That night, Lucy’s busy preparing dinner when I grab my clothes and hangers and head down the stairs to the master bedroom and hang them in the closet. Lucy’s taken all the boxes and put them back in the hallway closet. I told her she can put them in an upstairs bedroom, but she said if we’re starting new, then those need to be put away anyway.

  Turning away from the closet I just put my clothes in, I stare at the bed then close my eyes, the memory of her leaving me forefront in my mind.

  The night before, we’d been at one of the drawing nights at Northern Lights. We’d fought because I didn’t want to go, but she was adamant we’d promised, so I went as always. I felt something was off with her but chalked it up to the fact that maybe her period was coming, or something was bothering her from work because she was still holding my hand, kissing my cheek. Hell, we’d actually had sex that night, even if she’d seemed overly emotional during it.

  I woke up to her fully dressed, a suitcase at her side and tears streaming down her face.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. All I could think was that something had happened with her parents or her brother and they’d gotten back in touch with her.

  “Adam, I’m not sure how to say this.” She moved to the bedroom doorway and put her hand on the suitcase. My heart cracked—nothing good ever came from the start of a conversation like that. “I’m just not happy anymore.”

  “What?” I couldn’t make sense of what she was saying.

  She blinked and composed herself as if it took all her strength to say her next words to me. “I’m not happy anymore, and I’m… leaving you.”

  “You’re leaving me?” I pulled the covers off me.

  She put up her hand. “My decision is made. This is hard for me too, but we were young when we got married and I don’t want this life anymore.”

  A hammer smashed my heart and I felt numb all over. “This life?”

  “You and me. Sunrise Bay. I need to experience life more, and I can’t do that here. I’m leaving.”

  I shook my head. “What the fuck are you talking about, Luce?”

  Another tear slipped from her eye, and I rose from the bed, not understanding where any of it was coming from.

  “Please don’t.” She stepped back. “I can’t do this anymore, Adam. I’m so sorry. It’s for the best.”

  Then she wheeled her suitcase out of the house. I rushed out of bed and realized I was naked, so I opened a drawer and put on shorts. I ran out of the room to go after her, but she must’ve had it all planned out because the front door was locked when I got there. By the time I got it open, she was in her SUV, the tires squealing as she drove away.

  My ass fell to the stairs and I sat there for an hour, expecting her to come back, replaying what the hell had happened. And when I called a thousand times or more, she never answered. Every text I sent went unread. Eventually, I realized she’d meant what she said and wasn’t coming back.

  “Hey, you,” Lucy says, coming into the room and wrapping her arms around my waist. “All moved in?”

  She lays her cheek on my chest and I wrap my arms around her body, squeezing her to my side. Fuck, I wish I had the luxury of forgetting that moment like she did. It would make this a helluva lot easier.

  “Dinner’s ready.” She looks up at me, her forehead creased with worry. “You okay?”

  We agreed we’d be honest about everything, I remind myself. “There’s a reason I didn’t want to come in here.”

  “Why?”

  “This is where it happened. This is where you told me you were leaving me.”

  Her jaw drops. “Oh. Adam, if you—”

  I stop her with a kiss. “No. It’s time to make new memories in here. I’ll be better when I wake up tomorrow, I know it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She’s still worried, I can tell. I nod. “Yeah.”

  She dislodges herself from me and sits on the edge of the bed. “I have something to tell you.”

  Panic flares inside and every nerve fires up a fight-or-flight response. I don’t go to sit with her. I stand where I am and cross my arms. “What?”

  “You know those nights at Northern Lights?” She bites her lip. Never a good sign.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, I guess Mrs. Pierce was a confidante for me. She told me I used to plan those nights so that you’d draw.”

  I release my arms and stare at her, not fully understanding.

  “She told me that when she asked me to walk her to her room that night. I’ve been trying to figure out if that’s why I left. She mentioned that some important person from the art world was going to call you, but you never responded. Could that have been the reason?”

  I vaguely remember someone calling, but I was so deep in my anger phase, I told them off and hung up. “Really?”

  She nods. “I’m sorry. I should’ve said something earlier. I just wanted to figure it out before I did. I found it in my journals. I guess you’d stopped drawing a year or so after we were married and I felt like you shouldn’t let that part of you die, so I set up those nights at the retirement home. Are you mad?”

  I blow out a breath and shake my head. “No. I’m not mad.” I sit next to her on the bed and grab her hand. “But I told you, drawing isn’t some big dream of mine I never fulfilled. I’m happy, Luce, I promise you.”r />
  Her eyes widen. “What?”

  “You called me Luce.”

  I smile, since I didn’t make a conscious decision to not include the “y”. Nothing came to my mind to say she’s not mine. “Don’t feel guilty about me deciding to stay here. I’m where I want to be.” I cradle her cheek.

  “I really hope it’s not why I left you. I mean, why would I do that?”

  “Let’s talk about that later,” I say, nudging her to lie down. She crawls up the bed and my body looms over her, my lips finding hers. “Time to break this bed in again.”

  Her hands land on my cheeks, keeping my eyes on her. “What did I do so good in my life to win you twice?”

  “I guess we’re both just lucky.”

  She brings my face down to hers and we do a pretty damn good job of picking up where we left off. Unfortunately, dinner was ruined, but I was only hungry for Lucy anyway.

  “Crap,” I say in the bathroom the next morning, spotting blood on my underwear. I should’ve known when that old familiar feeling of cramps woke me in the middle of the night that something was going on.

  “What?” Adam’s shadow is outside the door. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I just have some bleeding and I had some cramping last night.”

  “Is this your way of telling me you need me to go to the store and buy tampons? Because you just ruined my day.”

  I chuckle because I know he’s joking. “I shouldn’t get my period. Since I got the IUD, I haven’t had one, other than a little spotting in the beginning.”

  He tries the doorknob, but I locked it. “Is this more serious? I’ll call in to work.”

  I finish up in the bathroom, shoving toilet paper into my underwear since I have absolutely nothing here. I doubt Adam keeps sanitary items for his renters. When I open the door, Adam’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his face pale white.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “I don’t like this. It sounds like you should go to the doctor and I should call in.”

  “I’m fine. I’ll call my old doctor, and in the meantime, it’s just a period. Who knows? It’s not like I have blood gushing down my legs.”

  He cringes. “You sure?”

  “I’m positive.”

  “I wasn’t too rough last night?” He rises from the bed and places his hands on my hips, hovering over me.

  I roll my eyes. “Relax. You know I enjoyed every minute of it.” I give him a saucy smile.

  He kisses me way more briefly than I want. “Okay. Call me though. Let me know what’s happening. I’m training a new guy, so we’ll be in the truck most of the day while I show him the trails and stuff.”

  I inch up on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. “I’ll keep you in the know.”

  “Good. There’s a plate of eggs in the microwave for you.”

  “You’re too good to me.” I kiss him again, hating when we part.

  “I know.” He winks.

  I playfully swat at him and fall back to my heels.

  “Want me to grab you stuff before I go?”

  I eye the clock. “No, you’ll be late if you do. I might call Cora or one of the girls to take me into town. Maybe Cora can take me to the doctor.”

  “This weekend, we’re getting you a car, okay?”

  I nod because it’s inevitable. Part of moving forward is getting me a car and continuing on with my life. “Sounds good. I’m going to call Principal Richards about maybe subbing and see if there are any openings for next year.”

  “That’s great, but don’t worry about anything financially. I’ve got us more than covered, okay? All the rent this place brought in, I put it in an account because it didn’t feel right to spend it myself when this place was ours.” He eyes me as though he’s worried about my reaction.

  I’m fine to talk about the past. I just wish I knew why I left him. Not because I doubt where we are, but I want to close that book and know whatever it was isn’t hidden and waiting to come out and jeopardize our new beginning.

  “I don’t want you to pay for everything though. I want us to be a partnership.”

  He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “We are. This is just my turn to hold the backpack, okay?” His thumb and forefinger linger on my chin, keeping my gaze glued to his. There’s worry and trepidation in those hazel eyes.

  “Okay,” I say, but in order for me not to feel like a freeloader, I need to start getting my life on track.

  He places a gentle kiss on my lips and walks toward the door.

  “Adam?”

  “Yeah?” He turns right before leaving the room. He’s sexy as hell in his ranger uniform.

  “Did I leave you my ring?” I slide my fingers over my bare left ring finger.

  He opens his mouth but closes it. For a moment, I don’t think he’s going to answer. “You did. It’s at my old house.”

  “Oh,” I say, unsure if maybe he doesn’t want to give it to me.

  “We can pick it up tonight, but…”

  “But?”

  “Nothing.” He smiles. “When I get home, we’ll drive over there and get it.”

  “Great. I didn’t want to ask in case you didn’t want to give it to me.”

  He eats up the distance between us with a few long strides and his thumb and forefinger touch my chin again. “I want you to stay my wife, and you should have a ring on your finger that symbolizes that. I gotta go. Let me know about the doctor.”

  He kisses me again, his tongue sliding in my mouth this time. As always, it stirs a buzzing through my body that zeros in between my legs.

  “Have a great day, dear,” I say to his retreating back.

  “Thanks, wife.”

  I wait for the door to shut before I grab my phone and call Cora to see if she can grab me before I call the doctor.

  “Sorry, Luce, I’m taking Toby’s mom into Anchorage,” Cora says.

  “I wish, but the inn is crazy right now,” Mandi says when I call her.

  I call every sister, and even Marla has some luncheon thing.

  My phone rings before I can decide whether I should try someone else or just call an Uber.

  “Hello?” I ask.

  “I heard you’re looking for a ride?” Ethel asks. I didn’t have her number programmed in because I didn’t know if she had a phone.

  “Oh, yeah, I don’t have an appointment at the doctor’s yet, but I can just call an Uber.”

  “Nonsense, we’re about to leave. We’ll get some supplies, and I’ve already got you scheduled with Dori’s granddaughter-in-law.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Stella. She’s squeezing you in as a favor to us. Be there in twenty.” She hangs up.

  I remember Dori mentioning that her granddaughter-in-law is a family doctor, so I search up my old gynecologist and call the office to get an appointment. The receptionist answers on the first ring and I explain my situation, hoping I can secure an appointment before Ethel and Dori get here.

  “I’m sorry, Dr. Ramirez no longer has a practice here and we haven’t found a replacement yet,” she says. “Most of our patients are going to a new clinic in Lake Starlight that handles OB-GYN issues.”

  “You don’t have any doctors there?”

  “No one who specializes in that. I promise you’ll love the clinic. People rave about it. I wish it had been around when I was having babies and raising them. Sadly, those years are gone now.”

  “Okay, well, I think someone I know got me an appointment with one of the physicians there, but I wanted to see Dr. Ramirez since she’s familiar with me.” Of course that was the old Lucy, not the new one.

  “Go, sweetie. Promise you’ll love it. I heard there’s a waterfall in the waiting room,” she whispers as though it’s a secret.

  “I don’t have much of a choice, so I’ll go. Thank you so much.”

  I hang up and go back to the bathroom to make sure I haven’t leaked through the toilet paper. There isn’t a ton of blood, so I get rid of it
and put more in, hoping Ethel and Dori can take me to buy some pads.

  As though they heard me, after I wash my hands and walk out of the bathroom, the doorbell rings. The sound of two arguing old ladies comes through the door.

  I barely open the door before they shove in, Dori pushing a box in my stomach. “Here you go… oh, you were right, Ethel, this place is beautiful.”

  “They did so much work. It was horrible when they first moved in. I tried to give Adam a loan, but he wouldn’t hear of it.”

  I listen, hoping a memory triggers, but when it doesn’t, I look at the box they thrust at me. Super Plus Night Absorbency. Are these… bladder control pads?

  I sigh, but I can’t very well complain.

  “I told her you weren’t menopausal,” Dori says.

  “What? Are they too big?” Ethel asks, clutching her purse. “You should’ve seen the look the guy gave us, so we felt we had to explain.”

  “You told the guy at the drugstore that I needed pads and you selected these?” I hold them up, really hoping that when Nikki gets this news, she doesn’t share. The last thing I need is for all of Sunrise Bay to think I don’t have my memories or control of my bladder.

  “We didn’t say names.” Ethel smiles.

  I nod. “I’ll be right back,” I say through clenched teeth.

  By the time I get the pad on, I understand what poor babies feel like. But it’s better than toilet paper.

  I come out and they’re standing by the door with their hands in front of them like kids who were up to no good. I eye them suspiciously, but what could they have really done?

  “Thank you for taking me.”

  “No problem. My Stella is the best.” Dori walks out first.

  I lock up and release a breath seeing the Cadillac in the driveway. “Do you want me to drive?”

  Please say yes. Please say yes.

  “Do you remember how to drive?” Dori asks.

  “I do. Adam took me out already.”

  Dori throws her hand in the air. “She remembers how to drive but not me. I don’t get it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say out of habit.

  “Don’t be sorry.” Ethel rolls her eyes and pulls out the keys. “And I can drive. You relax in the back.”