My Almost Ex Read online

Toby laughs. “See why I’d lock her in a closet?”

  I shake my head as Cora places her hand on my shoulder. “We all know how much you hate the unexpected, and where this will end up, I don’t think anyone can predict. She could regain the memory of why she left and decide that it was the right thing to do. Or she might never regain the memory of why she left you. You might just fall in love with her all over again. She might be a completely different Lucy than we know. But stop the act and get it going, because the longer you try to act like you don’t care, the longer until it’s over.”

  It’s not that Cora doesn’t have a point. She should’ve continued her schooling to get her doctorate in psychology.

  “What do you expect me to do?” I ask.

  “She remembers you, she remembers me, and although she might not want to, she’ll probably remember Toby.” She gives me a wink.

  “I’m a memorable guy,” he says.

  “It’s a great start. Maybe you take her to the cabin. Walk her to where you got married. Show her memories of her life here with you.”

  My jaw clenches when I think about how I’ll be inflicting pain on myself if I do that.

  “She shouldn’t be at the inn. She should be sleeping at the house. She should be surrounded with memories of the two of you.”

  “Fuck, Cora.” I push my hand through my hair.

  Her shoulders rise in a cocky shrug. “Just say I’m right.”

  “Am I really going to do this?” I say more to myself than her.

  “I promise you this. If this ends badly, I’ll gladly serve you a beer at noon next time.” She smiles wide and slaps me on the back.

  I look at Toby, and he’s looking at her as though she hung his fucking moon. Damn them and their happiness. Their perfect family.

  She won’t have to serve me a beer because if this goes bad, I’ll be bent over my brothers’ bar with an empty bottle of whiskey in my hand.

  “Two months, Luce. That’s all you’re getting. And I want you to know I do not agree with this decision.” Mom stands outside her Uber in the parking lot of the SunBay Inn, her bags already in the trunk. “Mandi wouldn’t take my card to pay for you, so clean up after yourself. Don’t make them cater to you.”

  “I won’t.”

  She nods a few times, still looking put out. I can’t let her get on a plane and go back to Idaho with us like this.

  “Mom,” I say, stopping her before she climbs into the back seat. “I’m not trying to upset you.”

  She sighs. “I wanted to spare you from this, but I see now I can’t. It’s your life. You made that clear to me a long time ago.”

  I rush into her arms and squeeze her tightly, hoping the friction that was there before I left Adam will evaporate this time around. I want a different outcome if I decide Sunrise Bay is where I want to be.

  “I love you,” I say, meaning every word.

  “Just be careful, sweetie.” She runs her hand down my back and releases me sooner than I would have.

  I step back and she slides into the car, waving one last time before the Uber pulls out of the parking lot.

  My phone dings with a reminder. I forgot that my neurologist wanted to get on a video call to talk to me now that I’ve been here a few days. I’m still caked in dry mud and there’s no time for a shower.

  I head into the inn, thankful I’m staying in town. Climbing the stairs, I go into my room and see that my mom made her bed before she left. I grab my computer and sit on my bed, positioning it on top of a pillow.

  After I dial Dr. Lipstein, his bald head pops up on the screen.

  “Lucy,” he says, positioning his computer straighter.

  “Hi, Dr. Lipstein,” I say.

  “How is Alaska?” He leans back in his chair.

  One thing I love about Dr. Lipstein is the fact that he’s laid back. He never makes me feel as though there’s something wrong with me. From day one, he’s made it clear that hopefully my memories will come back, but they may not and that’s okay too. My first appointment after I was discharged from the hospital was with a support group he suggested where some people have regained all their memories and others who haven’t regained any. Seeing those people thriving made me think I could too. But it also spurred me to want to come here to Alaska.

  “It’s okay.” I shrug.

  “Just okay?”

  “My mom left to go back to Idaho and I’m going to stay here.”

  A small smile creases his lips.

  “What?”

  He chuckles. “I had a feeling things wouldn’t go how you predicted up there.”

  “What does that mean?”

  His head tips right and left as though he’s unsure how to say whatever it is he wants to say. “I’ve been doing this job a long time. Something about your mom’s position on you returning there just flagged me. That’s all. When someone loses their memory, unfortunately, it can sometimes bring people back into their life in a way they weren’t a part of it before. You’d returned to your family after you left Sunrise Bay, but I think there’s a lot to uncover while you’re there. A large part of who you used to be.”

  “I’m married,” I blurt.

  His eyes widen. “Your parents didn’t tell you?”

  I nod, still annoyed that my mom tried to erase this part of my life. “I guess I left him about a year ago. I don’t remember why, and I really want to.”

  “Did he approach you when you got to town or did someone tell you?”

  I shake my head with a proud smile.

  “You remembered?”

  “It was crazy. My mom and I were walking through town and there were all these people because it’s the day before tourist season starts and the entire town comes out. And I turned my head to the right and saw Adam. I couldn’t get to him fast enough.”

  “And how did Adam react?”

  My smile dims. “Confused. When I saw him, I felt like I was still married. I forgot for a moment that more than a year had passed since I’d even been in Sunrise Bay.”

  “I see the disappointment on your face, and you should know that’s to be expected. You remembered him and that you were married. Anything else?”

  “Ever since, little things from my past involving him have come back. A memory from when we were thirteen, and another one at sixteen.”

  “Lucy, that’s amazing. I assume that’s why you’re staying in Sunrise Bay?”

  I nod, biting my lip. “I think this is where I need to be for now.”

  “I agree. I’m sorry your mother did not though.”

  I shrug, appeased that Dr. Lipstein agrees I should stay. “From what I gather, she never came to my wedding. She doesn’t like my husband or his family.”

  He nods.

  “I’m mad because she was trying to keep me from remembering.”

  He nods again.

  “I mean, how could she take that away from me?” Tears slip down my cheeks. I’m unsure who I can talk to about this. The fact I have to resort to talking to my neurologist says how desperate I am for a friend. I thought my mom was on my side, marching along to get me back to who I was, and now I’ve found out she was trying to steer me away from the very place that would help me.

  “Lucy, it’s hard to understand. Sometimes family members think they’re helping you. I’m sure she was trying to spare you the pain of reliving the part of your life when you left your husband. I don’t think she was being malicious.”

  “Are you saying you agree with what she did?” I swipe my tears away with the backs of my hands.

  He shakes his head. “No, but I do understand. I think everyone has things in their life they’d like to forget. Maybe it has more to do with her than you.” He shrugs. “But let’s focus on the now. You’re there. Somewhere safe, I hope?”

  “I’m at an inn.”

  “Good. I’m sure you had friends there. Have you reconnected?”

  I nod. “Yes.” Maybe Cora? I mean, Mandi was always nice, but she’s Adam’s sister.
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  “You need people you can trust.”

  I still trust Adam, although he hates me for leaving him. Not that I blame him. I’d hate me too.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Then just enjoy your time while you’re there. Don’t pressure yourself. Surround yourself with people and things that are familiar to you, and maybe some things will come back. But like I told you, you might never get every memory back. You may never remember what happened with you and your husband.”

  My shoulders slump. That’s the one thing I really want to know.

  A soft knock on the door interrupts us.

  “Okay, let’s meet at the same time next week unless you need me. Does that sound good?”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Keep fighting, Lucy. You’re doing amazing.” He winks, and we both say goodbye.

  Another knock sounds on the door and I rush off the bed to answer.

  I swing the door open and step back, surprised. “Adam?”

  Adam walks in and his scent floats by me as he passes. I close my eyes and inhale, a feeling of safety falls over me. Maybe I shouldn’t trust that feeling though, like Dr. Lipstein said.

  He sits on the edge of my mom’s bed. “I heard you ran into Cora.”

  I nod, stepping around him to sit on my bed. I’m sure he doesn’t want me on the same bed as him, although it’s where my body yearns to go.

  “She has a baby,” I say as if he doesn’t know that.

  “Brody. Yeah. He’s a cool kid.”

  “They were going to story time.” I hate that talking to him feels awkward. I don’t know what to say.

  “Do you remember that she’s married to Toby?” He glances at me, his forearms resting on his thighs and his fingers weaved together.

  “She told me.”

  “So you don’t remember their wedding?”

  I shake my head.

  “They got married after us. What’s your last memory?” he asks.

  I sit up straighter on the bed, crossing my legs. “Little things have been coming back. I remember your thirteenth birthday party, and homecoming when we went as Frenchy and Doody. I don’t remember our wedding, but I know you’re my husband. Is that weird? It is.”

  He shrugs. “I’m not a doctor.”

  “I just talked to him about my mom and what she was doing. I should apologize.”

  “For her? Please. You don’t have to apologize for your mom. At least not to me.”

  I nod, unsure what he wants, why he’s here.

  He rises from the bed and paces. “I’m going to help you, but I want to make a few things clear.”

  “Help me?” My forehead wrinkles.

  He stops and stares at me. “When you left, I moved into the house with my brothers and started renting out our place, but I made arrangements for the renters who were coming Saturday to stay somewhere else and I’ve canceled the rest of the renters for the season. That way you can move in.”

  “Move into our home?” I’ve been dying to go there, but I never thought he’d allow me to stay there.

  “It’s where our life was. And I can take you to the places that were important to you.”

  “You know them?”

  His face scrunches up and he rolls his eyes. “You were my wife. You were my fucking world since I was thirteen. Yeah, I know them.”

  “Oh… okay.”

  “But I have a girlfriend now, so I want to make it clear nothing is gonna happen between us.” He pulls some papers out of his back pocket and tosses them on the bed. “We’re not a couple. And you need to sign these.”

  I pick up what I see now are divorce papers and sob inside. Our names written on the left-hand side with vs. between them. I never thought I’d see anything but an ampersand between our names. This makes it look like we’re enemies and I’ve always seen us as a united front.

  I toss them on the other bed. “I don’t want these.”

  “It’s not really your choice.” He runs a hand through his dark hair.

  A flash of a memory of us on a couch, his head in my lap, flashes through my mind. My fingers mindlessly ran through his hair while he told me a story about a bear. I laughed and his arm stretched up and pulled my head down for a kiss.

  I shake my head. “I’m not signing them. Not until I know why.”

  “Why what?” He throws his hands in the air.

  “Why I left. It doesn’t feel like something I would’ve done.”

  His fists clench. “Ask anyone in this town. You did.”

  “Well, I don’t remember, so I’m not signing them until I find out why.”

  He stares at me with flames igniting his hazel eyes. “Jesus, Luce…y, I’m trying to fucking help you here. Give me a little something in return.”

  I stand. “I’m not giving up on us.”

  “You already did. A year ago.” He steps forward.

  “That was then.” I stomp my foot.

  We end up chest to chest, and he says, “Meet me halfway. Let me salvage a little bit of my self-respect.”

  I lay my hand on his chest. His heartbeat pounds against my palm and he swallows, clenching his jaw. But he doesn’t fling my hand off of him. That has to be a good sign. I can feel that there’s still an underlying current that’s alive between us. “Do you love me, Adam?”

  He never looks away. “Sign the papers, Lucy.”

  “I’ll make you a deal.” I run my hand down his chest.

  His hand wraps around my wrist, stopping me from going farther, but still he doesn’t remove it from him. “No deal. Sign.”

  “My mom gave me two months here. I’ll sign them then. No matter what happens. Whether I remember or don’t. In two months, if you still want a divorce, I’ll sign.”

  Our eyes are locked, and I sigh, seeing him actually soaking me in. All the other times I’ve been around him, I felt as though he was actively trying to ignore my presence, but here I am, right in front of him, and it feels as though he’s really seeing me for the first time since I came back.

  I inch up on my toes and he releases my wrist, his hand falling to my hip. My breath is shallow as we slowly, so slowly, move closer. When our mouths are inches apart, he releases me, stepping back and storming over to the door.

  “I’ll pick you up at nine on Saturday.” He slams the door behind him.

  I pick up the divorce papers and toss them in the trash. I’ll never sign them.

  I’m on my way to meet Alicia for breakfast the next morning when Nikki’s segment “Scandals of Sunrise” comes on the radio. I’m tempted to change the station, but I want to hear firsthand what she tells the town.

  “Hey, Sunrise Bayers, it’s your host, Nikki Greene, with my co-host, Chip. Say hi, Chip.”

  “Hi,” he says in that grumpy tone I think all the listeners love.

  “How was your night?”

  “Fine.”

  “What did you do?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Come on, Chip. You had to have done something. Watch television or anything?”

  “Nope.”

  “You’re telling me you didn’t even check out The Bachelorette last night? I thought that was your fave.” She laughs. Chip doesn’t. But she’s used to it—these are the roles they’ve perfected. “Well, I have some news for everyone that I need to share.”

  “Do tell,” Chip says as if he’s thumbing through a newspaper and barely paying attention to her.

  “Lucy Greene, aka Lucy Davis, is back in town. I know. I know. Most of you already saw her a few nights ago. As you all know, I’m Adam’s stepsister, so I was nice enough to let the excitement from her arrival die down so I could figure out what’s really going on before I reported on it. Exactly why did she greet Adam like nothing had happened when in fact she left him, causing him to spiral down into despair?”

  “His new girl is a looker,” Chip says.

  I chuckle for the first time. Alicia is hot, can’t argue that.

  But she’s not Lucy.


  I curse my subconscious and go back to listening.

  “Alicia is pretty. But rumor has it that Lucy lost her memory after an accident and she’s here in Sunrise Bay to try to recover it. It’s no secret that Lucy’s family and my family don’t see eye to eye.”

  “She hates your family’s guts,” Chip chimes in.

  “Yes, but the wicked witch has left Oz after a fight outside SunBay Inn.”

  “Tell Mandi that the fish fry on Friday was excellent.”

  “Chip, let’s stay on task.” Nikki pauses. “But yeah, I agree about the fish fry.”

  “Told you so.”

  “Anyway, back to Sunrise Bay’s own Cory and Topanga. I love my stepbrother, but he’s been cold to Lucy the last few days.”

  “A broken heart is hard to overcome.”

  I shake my head at the fact he’s actually contributing to this.

  “True. But I heard a juicy piece of information last night.”

  “Just spit it out,” Chip says.

  “Adam was seen going up to Lucy’s room at the inn after her mom left. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.”

  My hands tighten on the steering wheel.

  “You’re purposely stirring up gossip.”

  “It’s called ‘Scandals of Sunrise,’ Chip. Anyway, listeners out there, if you catch sight of Lucy, maybe tell her a story to help her remember how loved she was in Sunrise Bay. After all, Adam might not realize it now, but he’d love it if she stuck around. That’s it for me. Chip, what’s the fishing weather gonna be like the next few days?”

  Annoyed, I park my truck, grab my phone, and walk into the square. Two Brothers and an Egg is packed, but Alicia texted that she already had a table in the back. All eyes follow me as I make my way into the restaurant. Tad, one of the owners, pats me on the back on the way back to the table.

  “You had the station on?” I ask.

  “Sorry you’re the topic, but we always listen in the morning. Go have a seat next to your looker.” He laughs.

  I ignore the stares from a table full of moms who are my parents’ age. Thanks a lot, Nikki.

  I sit down across from Alicia, but her head is buried in her phone as though she doesn’t know I’ve arrived.